WHO AM I?

I AM NOT THE TYPICAL WOMAN

Before embarking on this journey into the United States to attend college, I found it difficult to write on topics that expressed or explained aspects of myself. It was challenging because I was still attempting to understand the person I became. Usually at the age of twenty-five, a person is expected to already know who they are and what they do, but being at the age of twenty-nine I am now seeing a clearer picture. When I first asked these questions, I spent time thinking about the person that I want the world to know. I am, in a way, following the words of Author Shannon L. Alder who wrote, “Courage doesn’t happen when you have all the answers.” She explains, “It happens when you are ready to face the questions you have been avoiding your whole life” (Alder, n.P.). Until now, I have been avoiding a formal introduction to the world; however, I would describe myself as a recovering atelophobic, a determined scholar, and person who loves searching for new ways to change or improve situations. I repair and maintain machines that enable people to travel and explore the world.
I always knew that I was different; nevertheless, I did not realize my importance. I saw every achievement and compliment through the eyes of a pessimist. I did not learn to utilize this form of psychological behavior until I began troubleshooting machines, specifically an aircraft engine. Because of the major risks involved in human margin of error, patience is a necessity. To add, one of the ways that I was taught to face my fears was to fly in the aircrafts that I fixed. I cannot truly explain the level of anxiety before making my first few flights. It was both an invigorating and self-satisfying experience. Now when others are travelling with me, I have the confidence to help them to feel better about the whole travelling experience. I have to admit, the first impression that I receive from persons who are informed of my duties always show an apprehensive expression.
Another reason why I do not consider myself a typical woman is because I am a scholar who is determined to avoid complacency and be a good example for those that enter my path. I believe that in this world I have much to learn, explore and experience without strict limitations. Rumi, a Persian poet, Islamic jurist, and theologian, lived most of his life under the Roman Empire ushered these wise words: “[d]on’t be satisfied with stories…how things have gone with others.’ He advises us to [u]nfold your own myth” (Rumi 1278). Learning is a continuous, varied process until death; therefore, it would be unwise for someone to say they did not gain something throughout their life. I believe that I gain information through knowledge and experience which helps me to see the world differently. For this reason, I am determined to prove that complacency, self-denial, and an unwillingness to sacrifice are limitations which are self-imposed.